What IS a mentor?
Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen and a push in the right direction. ~ John Crosby
- the word "mentor" comes from the Greek language and means "wise guide"
- traditionally, a mentor was an older, more experienced person, who became responsible for grooming a younger person to fill a role
- since the Middle Ages, job skills have been taught in a master/apprentice relationship, e.g. a silversmith teaching a young person the skill of silversmithing
- apprenticeships continue today with young people learning a trade or job skills from those more experienced than themselves
- someone who mentors an adolescent takes on a more challenging role than the master/apprentice relationship. A mentor will, hopefully, be both a friend and a role model to the mentee at a time in his/her life when the influence of adults is of the utmost importance.
At Big Brothers Big Sisters, we call our mentors, "Bigs" and our mentees, "Littles."
A Big is:
a friend
a motivator a guide a coach a tutor a companion a resource a confidant a listener a cheerleader a supporter an advocate an advisor a sounding-board a networker a negotiator a role model | A Big is not:
a trained counsellor
a therapist a saviour a cool peer a parole officer a foster parent a bank/ATM machine a Little's scheming sidekick a Little's private secretary a taxi a social worker a personal adviser a parent a baby sitter a disciplinarian a psychologist a psychiatrist a nag |
As children develop they search for love, understanding and significance. To be a life-changing agent in a Little's life, it is important for their Big to learn how to both care and share. These are two important qualities as the connection between a Big and Little develops.
Bigs are encouraged to take initiative in the relationship. At first, they might feel insecure with their Little, but they should remember that children and adolescents feel even more insecure with adults. Bigs should be prepared to give more initially in order to engage their Little and develop a relationship. Don't expect much initial response from your Little ~ small talk is important to them (TV, X-Box, iPods, iPhones, SMS, Internet, sports, music etc.) so be patient. Small talk leads to BIG talk.
Littles should feel important at all times and their Bigs should take an active interest in how they are doing. Bigs are encouraged to make the Little the central focus of their time together. Affirm your Little - actively look for good characteristics and qualities and never hesitate to compliment your Little, no matter how small the compliment might appear to you.
Bigs are encouraged to take initiative in the relationship. At first, they might feel insecure with their Little, but they should remember that children and adolescents feel even more insecure with adults. Bigs should be prepared to give more initially in order to engage their Little and develop a relationship. Don't expect much initial response from your Little ~ small talk is important to them (TV, X-Box, iPods, iPhones, SMS, Internet, sports, music etc.) so be patient. Small talk leads to BIG talk.
Littles should feel important at all times and their Bigs should take an active interest in how they are doing. Bigs are encouraged to make the Little the central focus of their time together. Affirm your Little - actively look for good characteristics and qualities and never hesitate to compliment your Little, no matter how small the compliment might appear to you.
Page content adapted from www.yess.co.nz/Mentor.html
